43rd day (The Truman-Shvil Show)

that white dot is the blimp

It's the first week of January. We completed 2 shvil days in December. This is the season that through shvillers supposedly start in Eilat, walking the desert in winter so as to arrive up north in early spring. In contrary to this theory, we haven't seen any other shvillers at all this season. Yoni is starting to suspect a conspiracy. As in the film "The Truman Show" where Jim Carey lives in a false world that exists purely for television, we're starting to suspect that there is no shvil yisrael at all. That it is all an elaborate ruse, set up by Israel Television (or World Television Inc.), where we walk around and everything that happens to us is watched by millions of viewers around the world. This would explain some anomalies that we have noticed along the way. Perhaps shvil signs are deliberately missing or misleading so the viewers can be amused by our misfortune. Alternately there is a tight paint budget, so the set builder (Mr Shvil Painter to us) has to skimp and save. We have noticed lately bootprints on the ground, but no walkers. Is it possible that these footprints were planted by the show's producers? The giant blimp, which we thought had something to do with a mysterious and heavily guarded, supposed nuclear facility near Dimona, that accompanied us from afar during our last 2-day trip, was once again following us. Could it be that the theory that our mugshots were posted throughout Israel's defense establishment bulletin boards was a misguided guess and in truth our mugshots actually have star rating, unbeknownst to us, in the real world? The blimp has nothing to do with the facility near Dimona, but is actually the control room, where the director, having a bird's eye view, calls the shots to his crew. Shvillers that we have seen along the way are paid extras. We haven't seen any of late because of cut-backs in the show's budget, due to falling revenue and poor ratings.  Whatever. What is certain that we haven't seen shvillers for a long time and we've had these beautiful walks almost exclusively to ourselves.

But let's start at the beginning. Which in this case was 4.00 a.m. Why? Because Koren, Garry's oldest, not realizing that we were shvilling and thus sleeping in Yeruham, was worried that he wasn't home and rang to check. Very sweet!  That's Garry's story. Personally, I think it was a pre-planned revenge for my snoring keeping him awake. In reality, it only shortened my sleep by 45 minutes and I think over the years I've robbed Garry of more hours sleep than those 45 minutes that Koren had taken from me. Roll call was at 4.45. By 5.30 we were in the car. Whilst I snoozed in the back, Yoni and Garry reported on a very impressive red sunrise. I believed them, without feeling the need to pry my eyes open for the spectacle. We would have enough spectacular spectacles in the coming hours.

As mentioned, these 2 days are principally for completing unfinished portions and negotiating one central landmark. Today we were starting where we finished a month ago, at the entrance to the Machtesh Hakatan, with the aim of climbing up Ma'aleh Eli, one of the steepest ascents on the entire shvil yisrael. We started walking towards the giant, 500 metre high crater wall 5 km to the east, knowing that we were going to have to climb it in order to get to the pre-arranged pick-up point. I gulped in trepidation. It looked almost impossible.

The walk to the crater wall proved easy enough. The machtesh is lined with many small dry creek beds that only flow when flash floods rush through and out of the only opening, at the entrance where Garry's car was parked. If there was a flash flood today, Garry's mazda would have been history. For that matter, so would we have been, having to cross these creeks in order to progress towards the base of Ma'aleh Eli. The walking was unremarkable. A lot of the path was over loose sand and with many rocks lying around and the spindly desert vegetation, we could just as easily have been at the beach. This beach was surrounded, however, by 500 metre high walls in all directions. As always, we had started early and the colors of the surrounding walls changed as the sun climbed higher in the sky. In retrospect, given the beauty of the surroundings, perhaps "unremarkable" is a bit of a misnomer. Maybe I meant that the walking progressed without drama.

who's silhouette belongs to who?

 Strangely, the closer we got to the base of the wall where we had to start the ascent, the less fearsome it appeared. I would have expected the opposite, but by the time we got to the base we each commented that it didn't look quite so scary. But that doesn't mean it was easy. The initial ascent consisted of merely walking up a very, very steep path. It was technically simple hiking, requiring no skill, balance or sense of direction, (things that we sometimes lack) just a strong heart muscle, pumping away to full capacity. On some of the steeper sections the shvil elders (or the Truman Shvil Show producers) have installed metal banisters to help us walk, or simply to lean on and whilst we catch our breaths. The terrain became a bit rockier but the incline didn't appreciably change. The going was difficult, but merely "difficult", no worse. If we needed reminding why we were putting our aging and overweight bodies through this, all we need to do was to turn around and see the crater floor beneath us and admire the view. There was no need to hurry, as we had given ourselves a generous buffer till the pre-arranged hour where we were to be picked up. This allowed us to find just the right perch where we could sit down and enjoy our breakfast. We have had a number of pit stops along the route to date that have been nothing short of stunning. It is both impossible and unnecessary to say which is the most beautiful. I can say, though, that this one is certainly amongst them. From this lookout I observed an interesting topographical feature.  A machtesh is formed millions of years ago when the crater, full of water, is emptied quickly by the collapse of the wall at one specific point. That point is the entrance to the machtesh where we started the day.  From where we were sitting, we could see all the dry creeks that we had crossed and many more, all snaking in the same direction towards the entrance.

note the blimp spying over us

After a long and relaxing break we continued upwards, the path leading us along ledges, climbing boulders and wedging our wide girths up narrow crevices. Eventually we reached the top. I've stopped recounting how breathtaking the views were. There's only so many ways and times that I can say it over the course of these last few walking days. This entire region is simply amazing.

Over these past 3 years we have unapologetically dodged, here and there, parts of the official shvil yisrael route. Some of the sections that we missed were due to our lack of desire, or maybe lack of belief, that we could conquer difficult climbs. If we haven't proven to ourselves that it isn't a problem over the past few legs, then today that fear was well and truly put to rest. It could well be that once the desert gets too hot to walk through and the walking season is over for us, we may go back and mop up some undone bits, as long as they're not along roads. Then again, we might not.  At any rate, there are no second thoughts about our "no road walking" rule.

From the top of Ma'aleh Eli we had about 4 km of easy flat walking to cover to the road where we were to be picked up. Not long after we'd started this last part of today's leg, we passed a large school group that were about to descend the wall that we had just climbed. These kids looked as if they just come out of a hippy commune. They happily skipped along the marked path, looking unprepared and unaware of the steep descent that awaited them ahead. I didn't envy their teachers and escorts that had to accompany this group down the cliff. A bit further along we came across a merry band of revelers who had driven their 4WD vehicles to a pretty lookout over a saddle between two mountains. They seemed oblivious of the view and seemed more interested in finishing their bottles of cheap vodka and arak and dancing to the beat of cheap Israeli mizrachi music. Drunk at 9.30 in the morning. Each to their own, I guess. We hurried on, scared of being intoxicated by the evaporated alcohol that hovered in the air around them. Soon after, we got to our meeting point, almost an hour earlier than we had planned. 

how do you use this dammed thing?

We had rung Danun, who was to meet us here, informing him that we would be arriving earlier than planned. "No problem, I'll be there waiting for you" he answered. When an Israeli answers a request with "no problem", you know you have a problem. When he's a desert Bedouin who has only the vaguest concept of time, you know you have even a bigger problem. An hour later he rolls up. When we politely mentioned to him that we had informed him that we would be getting to the meeting point earlier than planned and that he had confirmed that he understood that we wanted him to be there earlier as well, he looked at us blankly with the same level of interest as if we had just told him that the Zambesi river had just broken its banks. No matter. Sami Danun might well be solution to the logistical problem that is going to concern us for the next few hundred km of walking. From here south there are many legs where there is no access at all to regular vehicles and very little access to 4WD vehicles. Sami earns his livelihood by being a 4*4 taxi service along inaccessible points in the desert, many of them along shvil yisrael. He impressed us with his knowledge of the shvil and his willingness and ability to get people in and out of places. Whilst his grip on the concept of time may be slightly worrying, his knowledge of the area may well prove to be exactly what we are looking for. The drive to the Machtesh entrance and Garry's car was mostly over proper paved road and only partially over dirt track. No doubt that he feels more at home on the dirt tracks. On the paved road he seemed to be unsure on what side of the road he was meant to be driving, using both sides as one. On the dirt track his hand seemed much surer. Must remember that for the future.

The road leading to the machtesh entrance is a stock country back-road, except that it passes by a very heavily guarded rubbish dump. Being in close proximity to a similarly guarded mysterious "civilian" nuclear facility, it makes me wonder what sort of garbage they're depositing here. Somehow I think it may not be the used nappies of Mrs Abuchatzerah from Dimona or last night's dinner eaten by the Shitrit family of Yeruham. I just hope I don't return here in a few years time to find two-headed lizards and five-legged rabbits roaming the desert.

It was nice to get home on this Friday relatively early and without the bludgeoning shvil fatigue that we sometimes feel upon return. We may have driven a long way to do relatively few shvil kilometres but fun is fun, no matter how you do it.